Pandemic Me

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This was me roughly a year ago.


By the beginning of April 2020 I started taking a picture, or two or three of myself each day before I walked into work.  Partially because I became addicted to buying clay earrings over the pandemic (which honestly could be a whole other post) but what we are here for is my mentality.  Eventually it was a picture because I needed a reminder to smile. that I could get through the day (where you could see no ones smile) and by getting through each day get through this pandemic, that we still seem to be in.  It was just a tiny reminder to stay positive.

We all probably thought it was funny when toilet paper, lysol wipes, and paper towels were gone from the shelf.  Honestly that isn't what worried me, even though at some point I was down to my last roll or two, that isn't what made me panic.  What got me stopped in the middle of the canned food isle breaking down inside and panicking was the lack of food.  While I still had enough food to get me through the week (or a few weeks), knowing that this nonperishable food that I may need in a month if the pandemic had gotten worse, or I had gotten sick was not available scared me.  

I wanted to break down and cry.  But again, I was in the middle of the grocery store, I did a few deep breaths, got out of the isle that was making me panic and finished shopping.  That could be why the pictures, to help me remember, to get me through each day and each week.  I didn't get sick, I was considered essential so I kept working, and I was able to go to the store each week and there was always food at the store if I needed it.  

The pandemic pushed us and is still pushing us.  The lockdown/stay at home orders just made me want to get out and do something.  I am a homebody, maybe, but being told that I couldn't go anywhere just made me want to get out and do something.  It reminds me of when I got in a car crash and didn't have a car, that privilege of having a car was taken for granted when I was stuck at home or had to take the bus somewhere.  

Although even a Target run wasn't the same as it was, I didn't want to wander the store for hours just browsing.  I wanted out, but out without a mask, without washing my hands a hundred times a day, out not being afraid of standing next to a stranger that may or may not be sick.  


This is me today

I'd say things have gotten better for me in the last 18 months.  The daily pictures have stopped mostly, and the lockdowns are no more, and while we may start going back to wearing masks on a daily basis at work or at the stores at least I can go out, to a game or exploring my new town and my new state.  

Smiles and happy thoughts guys.

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